TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON

Written by Ehren Kruger

Directed by Michael Bay

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, John Turturro, Frances McDormand, Patrick Dempsey and Rosie Huntingdon-Whiteley

Simmons: Years from now, they’re going to ask, “Where were you when they took over the planet?” We’re going to say, “We just stood by and watched.”

Before today, I would never have equated Michael Bay’s directorial style with the soothing effect of a lullaby but that was before seeing TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON. It’s not that the barrage of intergalactic explosions of metal and mayhem that make up the majority of the third entry in the franchise would necessarily put you to sleep; it’s just that after sitting through Bay’s interpretation of the TRANSFORMERS universe three times now has lulled me into a state of semi-acceptance. I’ve never loved his vision for their world, which was a favorite of mine growing up, but I’ve now recognized that it is what it is and it isn’t about to change either. This shift allowed for me to see the latest installment as also the greatest.

Keep in mind that being called the best TRANSFORMERS movie to date is hardly a compliment given the history. Many of the essentials from the past make their inevitable returns this time out. Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf) is back as friend to the Autobots and general all-around neurotic player with a giant chip in his shoulder. He now feels, like most of his youthful colleagues coming out of college, that he is entitled to great things right now with no dues to pay. Of course, he already has great things like doting parents (Kevin Dunn and Julie White) and an impossibly attractive new girlfriend, Carly (model, Rosie Huntingdon-Whitely, in her first and hopefully last acting role) but if he doesn’t have the fancy car and hot shot job to go with, then he might as well announce to the world that he is in fact not an actual man. Having saved the world twice already only serves to exacerbate his ego driven anxiety. Sam is stunted but that isn’t surprising given who the direction is coming from.

Part of the reason TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON works better is because it is more solidly grounded in reality from the start. Writer, Ehren Kruger (who also co-wrote REVENGE OF THE FALLEN) integrates Cybertronian lore into actual human history, having an Autobot vessel crash on the moon in the early 1960’s. The space race is then rewritten as a means to get to that ship first, which of course the Americans do. He then follows that up with some reasonably compelling betrayals amongst the Transformer ranks that will certainly appeal to longtime fans. Unfortunately, he fills the rest of the space with the usual misogynistic boyhood fantasies that Bay gets off on so bad. What you’re left with is a slightly more elevated and enjoyable experience that stems from a simple numbing of the senses. And when you wake from the dream, you may still long for what it could have been.

Like, since when is Shockwave not a clunker of a boom box?

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WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS

Written by Allan Loeb and Steven Schiff

Directed by Oliver Stone

Starring Shia LaBeouf, Carey Mulligan, Josh Brolin and Michael Douglas

Gordon Gekko: A fisherman always sees another fisherman coming.

Oliver Stone is reputed to be a controversial film director but that isn’t entirely fair. To be controversial, one must make statements that rock the status quo and potentially encourage progress and change. Stone may have started out his career with more of a bite, but the two-time Oscar winner for directing, doesn’t actually have very much to say at this point. Instead, he attaches himself to projects that cannot help but be controversial in nature and allows our already preconceived notions of these subjects to do all the talking for him.

In WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS, Stone revisits one of his most successful films to supposedly reiterate to us what he did in the original WALL STREET, because clearly, we were not paying close enough attention then. In 1989, investment mogul, Gordon Gekko (Michael Douglas) stepped over everyone he knew for the almighty dollar and ended up going to prison. He was famous for having said that “Greed is good,” but as it turns out, it was pretty bad. So bad that it inspired him to write a book about how greed was going to be the downfall of America. He got rich off that book of course and then Gordon Gekko went on to predict the 2008 economic crisis. If only Stone had made this movie before everything happened. Maybe all of this calamity could have been avoided.

Gordon was released from prison in 2001 to find that no one was waiting for him and the world had continued on without him. Then apparently nothing at all happened for seven years because the story picks back up in 2008. Gordon’s daughter, Winnie (Carey Mulligan) is now dating a Wall Street up and comer, Jake Moore (Shia LaBeouf). Together they share a bright future full of possibility and fortune until their financial flooring falls out from underneath them. This new generation of money players is portrayed as reluctant but yet still able to enjoy their wealth and the lifestyle it affords them. Their ideals, nobility and honour, are still intact but this is just an illusion and lucky for all of us, Stone is here to show them that more money means more problems.

The greed that is bringing everyone down in WALL STREET: MONEY NEVER SLEEPS is exponentially bigger than it has ever been and Stone warns us that we will not survive another financial meltdown like the one that just forced the American government to fork over billions of bailout dollars. Solid performances and some impressive camera work on behalf of Rodrigo Pietro make the experience reasonably entertaining but Stone never lets us forget just how touchy everything is. He preaches of how moral hazard will continue to cripple the market but basically applies the same principals to his own filmmaking. As long as he hides behind the overbearing face of controversy, he will never have to risk anything of his own by actually saying something unpopular himself.

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